I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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