I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
