I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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