So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
