if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
