we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
