I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
