Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
