Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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