just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
