I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
