STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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