my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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