Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
