I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
