he puts the penis in happiness.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
