it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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