you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
