Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize