she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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