theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
In other news, I just burned my penis
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
