I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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