Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
