you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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