i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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