I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
