Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
His nipple licking is glorious
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