Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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