yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I love you. Go after that dick
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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