Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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