I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
