Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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