I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
