Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
