Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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