Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
