speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
