A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
