Four minutes until I can fart!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
