Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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