I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
