In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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