my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize