I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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