don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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