i just google imaged poop.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
