Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
