do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
