Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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