so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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