Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
