Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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