Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize