What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
