Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
