Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
