I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize