was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
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